The Holidays are characterized by joy, happiness, singing, parties, eating, gift giving, concerts, plays, Christmas programs, Hanukkah celebrations, charity drives, cookie exchanges, travel and people having fun. At least that is what the media would have you believe. The truth is the Holidays can be a tough time when you are going through or have recently gone through a divorce. The last thing you may feel like doing is pretending to be joyful and cheerful.
More than likely you and your spouse had developed some family traditions over the years. The traditions may have been ones you created, or ones you continued from one or both of your families. Now is a great time to think of your family traditions and ask yourself the following questions;
My last post I asked you to honestly answer a list of questions about how you were taking care of yourself.Today I want to share with you a list of ideas for taking care of yourself (especially during the busy holiday season.) I know you are busy so I want to make this as easy as possible. I have prepared a list below of 12 ways that you can care for yourself. Review the list and write down the ones that speak to you. Then take a few minutes to add or modify options that are more suitable to you.
12 Great Ways for taking care of yourself:
- Spend 15 minutes in the morning preparing for the day ahead. Begin with thinking of things you are grateful for in your life. Focus on the good things; don’t let your mind focus on the negative. If you are a believer, begin by reading your Bible, read the Proverb that corresponds with the date. If you like to meditate, to get centered and focused for the day, meditate.
- Exercise 30 minutes 3-5 times a week. (Determine the days you will do it and when) You can include the kids with a bike ride, hike, run, or swim… Read More Here…
If you are in the process of divorce or recently divorced, the holiday season can be particularly challenging. During this time of transition from married to single, learning to balance life, career, children, home and any activities for you and/or your children can be overwhelming. It is easy to fall into the mode of taking care of everyone else and attending to the many details of life while overlooking the importance of taking care of yourself.
Sometimes you may tell yourself that this is temporary and after the holidays, or after you get your shopping done, or after the kids get out of school for winter break, that you will some how have more time. Possibly you are trying to stay busy on purpose to avoid feeling your pain.
As a single parent it is really easy to put your children first. You may feel guilty about the divorce and how it is affecting your children so you pour yourself into them and attending to their needs. You may be feeling depressed and lack the energy to exercise, to eat healthy, and to put forth the effort to spend time with family or friends. Yet now more than ever it is important for you to take care of yourself. Let’s do a quick reality check.
We couldn’t be more excited to introduce Richard “RJ” Jaramillo, Founder and President of SingleDad.com, as our next speaker. RJ as he likes to be called is a single dad of 3 children, located in San Diego, CA.
Twelve years ago when RJ became a single parent, he realized how few resources were available to help him succeed as a single parent. Support groups, organizations, web sites and play groups were everywhere for single moms and nowhere for single dads. He also became acutely aware of the social stigma often associated with single dads: viewed largely as “weekend dads” or as uncaring and absent from their children’s lives. RJ encountered single dads everywhere who were dedicated to raising their children but were in desperate need of assistance.
RJ first began sharing his “on-the-job training experiences and tips” with other single dads through email and phone calls. Word spread and the calls and emails increased. With such an obvious need and his personal desire to help other single dads, RJ developed Read More Here…
Today we are happy to introduce you to Bill McLeod, the third speaker in our line-up. Bill is the creator of SingleParentsTown.com. He is a full-time, 24/7,single dad of two children. We were intrigued with Bill’s story and the challenges him and his family have had to overcome.
Bill’s wife had issues with alcohol which eventually led to their separation; Bill having full-time custody of his children, divorce and eventually the death of his ex-wife 5 years ago. Bill has dealt with more challenges
than many of us single parents and yet continues to maintain a positive outlook on life.
Join us on Wednesday, September 28th for the Divorced Parent Telesummit call when Bill will share what it is like to have your children experience circumstances in their young lives that no child should have to face: confusion, fear, grief and anxiety. Learn how he handled his circumstances and what advice he has for others.
Perhaps Bill says it best: Read More Here…
In my last post I talked about what you can do when the other parent makes poor choices unintentionally. This may result because he/she does not really know better or has not thought through the situation. Since poor choices made by a parent impact the children, I suggested how you might address the situation with the other parent.
Today I want to address how you might help your children when the other parent makes poor choices or bad decisions without thinking (or caring) about the implications it will have on the children. I know how frustrating it can be when the other parent makes poor life choices that impact your children, maybe even for life. One of the more common issues for which you will have no control or input is when and how the other parent chooses to date, and who they bring around your children. Although I will talk about poor choices related to dating, the concepts can easily be translated to other poor choices made by a parent.
Some parents desperately want to be in another relationship, possibly your marriage ended because of the other parent being unfaithful to your marriage. In these situations, when one parent jumps into a relationship he/she is thinking of themselves and not the best interest of the children. All the while your ex is setting an example for your children. Your first response may be anger, hurt, pain, frustration, or fear. I encourage you Read More Here…
Whether you are in the process of divorce or have been divorced for some time, one issue single parents often face is having no input (or control) over poor choices made by the other parent. When poor choices are made, the results or consequences not only impact the parent, but also the children.
Poor choices can range from one parent having rules and a routine at their house and the other parent having very different rules at their home. This may include bed times, chores, expectations and responsibilities, homework, balanced diet, tv time, computer time, attending church and more.
Having vastly different rules and expectations for each home can be difficult on the children. Allowing young children to stay up as late as they want on a school night is usually a poor choice. It is best if parents can strive to have similar rules and expectations for the children’s sake.
If and when possible, try to communicate your view point to the other parent regarding rules and expectations you have set for your home and why. Ask and seek to understand the other parent’s point of view and determine if you might be able to compromise, to have consistency for the children. If communication is stressed between you and the other parent, then try communicating through email.
Parents are human and we all make mistakes. Setting up house rules, expectations, responsibilities and routines may be more challenging for one parent than another. Sometimes a Read More Here…
Many divorced parents don’t realize that you can start preparing yourself for single parenting once you have made the decision to divorce. Being a single parent is not all drudgery. There are plenty of good aspects once you can look past the hurt and the pain brought on by the separation and divorce. Remember that the number one factor in how kids do after the divorce is the level of conflict between you and the other parent.
To those who are in the process of recovery from a failed marriage and are looking forward to raising their kids, the best thing to do is to learn how to let go of the past. Experts say that this is the best way to move on because if you dwell on the past, it will only serve as a reminder of your failed marriage. And if you keep thinking about failure, you will get caught up in a never ending cycle of blaming yourself or your ex-spouse. The experts in the Divorce Parent Telesummit will provide you with tools to move through the grieving process so you can let go of the sense of failure and anger about the divorce. Even if you are just starting the divorce Read More Here…