Single Parents – A Time for New Traditions

December 17th, 2011 Tags: children, co-parenting, Holidays, Single Parenting, Traditions
Posted in Co-Parenting, Divorced Parents

The Holidays are characterized by joy, happiness, singing, parties, eating, gift giving, concerts, plays, Christmas programs, Hanukkah celebrations, charity drives, cookie exchanges, travel and people having fun. At least that is what the media would have you believe. The truth is the Holidays can be a tough time when you are going through or have recently gone through a divorce. The last thing you may feel like doing is pretending to be joyful and cheerful.

More than likely you and your spouse had developed some family traditions over the years. The traditions may have been ones you created, or ones you continued from one or both of your families. Now is a great time to think of your family traditions and ask yourself the following questions;

• Are there traditions that you want to continue?
• Is there something you have always wanted to do but some how never seemed to incorporate it into your busy schedule?
• Did you give up something that was important to you, because your spouse did not want to do it?
• What brings you the most joy or happiness this time of year?
• How might you incorporate that into your life?

Now is the perfect time to create your own traditions. Think about the season and all it has to offer. What Holiday events do you enjoy the most? If it is something you shared with your spouse, maybe find a way to add a new twist or make it different in some way. You don’t have to completely give up all of your traditions. If it was going to a concert or Christmas program, what about going to dinner at a favorite restaurant before the event?

If you have children, include them in coming up with new traditions. Pick a time to brainstorm. Discuss each person’s favorite thing(s) to do during the holidays. Are there are any new things you may want to do? Listen to what everyone has to say and then come up with a list. Have each person rank the activities in order of most important to least important. If possible, try to do as many of the activities on the list as possible or at least the most important ones. If it is not possible, you could alternate years between a couple of activities. Be flexible and willing to try new things.

In this season of giving, why not give of yourself? In the book, “The Go-Giver” by Bob Burg and John David Mann, they state “The most valuable thing you have to give people is your self.”  One of the best ways to give of yourself would be spending quality time with your children. This might be the perfectopportunity to  teach your children about giving of themselves, too.

Have you ever volunteered for a charitable event this time of year? Organizations are always looking for volunteers. Some ideas include serving a meal to the homeless, collecting and or sorting gifts for a gift drive or food drive, decorating, planning, preparing food for a party where gifts are distributed to underprivileged families, adopting a family in need and buying them gifts, ushering at a Christmas or holiday program.

To find programs needing help during the holiday season you can check the following resources:
The newspaper
Your church
Local schools
volunteermatch.org
Websites for local news stations
Websites for local charities/organizations
Website for local Chamber of Commerce
Internet: Google volunteer opportunities in your area

Volunteering and serving others at a time when you may feel less than joyous, can make you feel better. When you can make a difference in someone else’s life, you can be thankful for what you have to offer others and what you have personally.  It is bound to lift your spirits. Why not try it.

What new traditions will you try or begin this year? Will you make the decision to try at least one new tradition? Make a conscious effort not to dwell on past holidays. Plan something you can look forward to doing. Look for the blessings and things you have to be thankful for this season.
Happy Holidays!

Copyright 2011  Shelley Grieser and Pamela Wynn All Rights Reserved.