Mediation Helps You Help Your Children

February 4th, 2012 Tags: Divorce, Mediation, Parent
Posted in Communication with Ex, Surviving Divorce

Mediation is usually required before your case can go to trial – for the divorce or for a modification case. For many parents, this is just one more “hoop” to jump through in the divorce process. But if you look at the mediation requirement like that, you’ll miss a critical part of it. Mediation is more than trading assets and number of overnights – it can actually help you help your children.

Preparing for Mediation

By preparing for the mediation process, you can learn What’s really important to you and why. Knowing the “what” and “why” of your position helps you to be able to create compromises that work. For divorcing parents, mediation can mean the difference between being a divorced family with a lot of conflict continuing past the final judgment and one that can effectively negotiate different opinions.

That’s why it is good to spend some time prior to the mediation conference thinking about what you really want after the divorce. I’m not talking about making a list of the property you want, although that’s a good idea. I’m talking bigger than that. I’m talking about things like, “What kind of values do you want your kids to see in action?” and “How do you want to interact with your child’s other parent after the divorce?” and “What do you want your child to know about resolving conflict?”

Mediation Helps You Help Your Children

An effective mediation helps you both work through disagreements and gives you practice at how to handle disagreements in the future. Not only is that valuable for you as a parent, it also helps you demonstrate to your children how to effectively work thorugh conflict. Let’s face it, we all have conflict everyday at some level. Learning how to identify and express your needs and create compromises are skills that your child will need to have so they can successfully negotiate through life. It’d be great if they could learn that from you, so take some time to understand your position as you prepare for mediation.