Divorce: 12 Great Ways for Taking Care of Yourself

November 20th, 2011 Tags: Bill McLeod, divorced parents, Self-care, Single Parenting
Posted in Divorced Parents, Surviving Divorce

My last post I asked you to honestly answer a list of questions about how you were taking care of yourself.Today I want to share with you a list of ideas for taking care of yourself (especially during the busy holiday season.) I know you are busy so I want to make this as easy as possible. I have prepared a list below of 12 ways that you can care for yourself. Review the list and write down the ones that speak to you. Then take a few minutes to add or modify options that are more suitable to you.

12 Great Ways for taking care of yourself:

1. Spend 15 minutes in the morning preparing for the day ahead. Begin with thinking of things you are grateful for in your life.  Focus on the good things; don’t let your mind focus on the negative. If you are a believer, begin by reading your Bible, read the Proverb that corresponds with the date. If you like to meditate, to get centered and focused for the day, meditate.
2. Exercise 30 minutes 3-5 times a week. (Determine the days you will do it and when) You can include the kids with a bike ride, hike, run, or swim…
3. Make healthy choices for meals and snacks. (Plan ahead)
4. Limit the sweets and treats you eat at the office, home, and at parties over the holidays.
5. You may need a “time out” with your friends or family for coffee, lunch, or dinner, when you can connect with people who are important to you, to support each other, laugh and spend quality time together.
6. Set boundaries. Think before you commit to attend a party, another holiday program, to make or bake something when you really don’t have the time, or desire. It is okay to say “No.”
1. Setting boundaries may include not putting yourself in an uncomfortable position where you have to answer a lot of questions about your separation or divorce.
2. Not allowing people (former spouse) to speak negatively to you.
3. Recognizing your limits, establishing boundaries that work for you and sticking to them.
4. Protecting time for yourself and not letting anyone make you feel guilty about it.
7. Listen to worship music, or teachings from Joyce Meyer, Andy Stanley, Joel Osteen, Beth Moore, Zig Ziglar, Tony Robbins, or whomever you find inspiring, encouraging or motivating. You can easily take advantage of listening to music or teachings while you are driving in the car, exercising, baking, wrapping gifts, cleaning your house, working on a project or hobby.
8. Instead of watching something negative or depressing on television, why not watch something on your computer that is uplifting, encouraging or inspiring, or brings you peace. Do you realize that you can listen or watch most church services and/or TV programs on-line? You can subscribe to podcasts from many shows and ministries for free. This means you can have access to listening or watching something positive and encouraging any hour of the day.
9. Take a walk, get outside and get some fresh air daily.
10. Go to the spa and have a massage, or get a pedicure, manicure, or facial.
11. Schedule time to do something you enjoy such as; reading a good book, watching a movie, go hiking, skiing, bowling, scrapbooking, hunting, visiting family or friends, take a day trip. Shop for you, pursue a hobby, take a class, or attend a sporting or cultural event.
12. Meet with a trusted friend, counselor or support person to share and process feelings, thoughts and emotions that you may be experiencing.  Journaling your thoughts and feelings can also be very therapeutic.

Note: if and when people offer to help you in some way, let them. It’s okay to accept help, especially if you are a single parent. Some day you can pay it forward.

Recently on the Divorced Parent Telesummit, Bill McLeod had this to say; “If you are not organized your mind is going to be so cluttered with things you are going to do, and again you will not be there for your children. One of the things in balancing your life, we all as loving parents want to do everything for our children, we want to be there for them, love them and help them to grow up and be better than we were and more successful than we were, but if you don’t have balance in your own personal life, if you don’t have a foundation, you are going to be in huge trouble with your kids…So I really think establishing a schedule is important, taking the time for you. I know single parents right now, who won’t go out. I’ve got to be there for my kids, I’ve got to be with them all the time. I don’t have time for myself… A couple of things I see people make mistakes of is overbooking themselves.”

I hope that some of these ideas prompted you to think of ways you can take care of yourself. If you are up to making a commitment, why not pick 3 things that you are willing to do to care for yourself in the week ahead. Begin today by writing down a clear and measurable goal or objective for taking care of you. Then list 2-3 action steps you will take and when you intend to take them, and post it some where you will see it.

If you want to be held accountable, share this plan with someone and ask them to be your accountability partner. You could even come up with a reward for yourself when you accomplish your objective. Repeat this exercise for the next several weeks to help you get through the holidays.

If you missed the Divorced Parent Telesummit and the valuable information shared by Bill McLeod and others, click here, to find out how you can read and/or hear their interviews.

Determine to do something good for yourself. What a difference it will make.

Copyright 2011 Shelley Grieser All Rights Reserved.